I used to think of my social circle as a wide, flat plane where everyone was supposed to hold the same weight forever. However, as I’ve grown, I’ve come to visualise my connections as a grand pyramid divided into three distinct, ascending tiers that define our human experience.
Understanding the architecture of this pyramid—where the base is vast and crowded, the middle narrows and the peak remains incredibly exclusive—has completely changed how I handle goodbyes. Yet, looking closely at this structure reveals a deeper truth: relationships are never a one-way street. The integrity of each tier relies entirely on a balanced two-way purpose of reciprocation, demanding a necessary give-and-take where both act as the teacher and the student, the healer and the healed. Every single tier is absolutely imperative and necessary to our survival; no man is an island, and we genuinely all need each other to navigate the complexities of life. We are all so beautifully different, and that exact diversity is where the absolute magnificence of each encounter lies, forcing us out of our comfort zones and expanding our hearts.
The absolute widest part of my pyramid forms the foundational stage, built from a large quantity of people who stay for very short periods of time because they enter life strictly for a specific reason. The purpose of these individuals is clear: they arrive to help you through a hardship, provide guidance and offer support during a specific crisis or share a short term goal. The dynamic can be incredibly intense, often making them feel like an absolute "godsend" or a perfect match for that exact moment in your life. However, true foundation blocks require an equal energetic exchange; in that brief window, you are also providing them with a space to exercise their purpose, share their wisdom or find meaning in their own past struggles by helping you. You might meet these random strangers through a mutual contact or entirely on your own, sharing meaningful yet brief moments before the relationship reaches its natural end. Once the problem is solved, the lesson is learned or the goal is achieved and the mutual transaction of support is complete, the connection naturally fades, sometimes abruptly, because its dual purpose has been fulfilled. It never turns into a long-term friendship and rather progresses to acquaintances, leaving them as nothing more than just another contact in your network, which keeps the base of your pyramid wide, steady and transient.
Moving higher up the structure, the pyramid becomes noticeably narrower at the middle stage, which holds a medium quantity of people who come into my life for a season. These relationships last longer than foundational ones, but they are strictly tied to a specific period, environment or phase of personal growth. Their core purpose is to share an experience, teach you how to grow or simply bring you immense joy and fun for a time. In this tier, reciprocation is the very fuel that keeps the season alive, requiring both people to actively contribute to the shared environment, trade perspectives and match each other's energy. The dynamic here is built upon a prolonged shared space over time, making these connections deeply situational or transactional in nature. Common examples include college flatmates, coworkers at a specific job or friends you bond with while sharing a specific hobby or lifestyle, much like the person you meet at the gym and work out with for as long as you are at the same facility, or the colleague you latch onto as long as you work for the same company. The end of this tier arrives naturally when the give-and-take becomes unbalanced or when your circumstances change and you grow into a different version of yourself, causing you to naturally drift apart because the shared space that anchored the mutual connection no longer exists because you left varsity, a job or a gym.
Finally, at the very peak of the pyramid sits the smallest, most exclusive stage of all, reserved for a tiny, select number of permanent anchors who stay for a lifetime. These are rare, enduring relationships that successfully withstand time, distance and major life changes. Their grand purpose is to provide a solid emotional foundation and teach you lifelong lessons about unconditional love and loyalty. The dynamic of these connections requires consistent mutual effort, demanding the ultimate form of give-and-take where both parties serve as each other's emotional shelter through changing eras. It is a profound dance of showing up during alternating seasons of strength and vulnerability, yet it always feels incredibly secure; even if you don't speak for months, you can pick up exactly where you left off because the mutual investment remains perfectly intact. You see this manifest in the childhood friend that remains through the different stages of life and somehow always remains in contact, or the partner that ironically started out as an acquaintance in your wider network. Built to last a lifetime, these relationships never truly have a natural drifting point, ending only when someone passes away.
Realising that my social landscape is shaped more like a pyramid has put so much into perspective because I’ve stopped trying to force the crowded energy of temporary reasons or passing seasons up into the sacred, narrow tip of the lifetime space. Looking back, I see that every single person inscribed in these vaults served a profound purpose in shaping the person I am today, just as I hope I served theirs. I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to each one for the unique point of view that they provided, the fun that we shared, the comfort they offered and the lessons they brought into my world, as well as the honour of having contributed to theirs. I no longer look at the naturally evolving connections and brief encounters as a waste of emotional investment. Instead, I choose to view each person as a necessary piece of the puzzle and a valued contributing factor in helping me build the strength needed to stand tall through a continuous cycle of shared energy. I've learnt to embrace the natural give-and-take of the moment and lean on this wisdom to recognise whether they were sent for a reason, season or lifetime.
Reason, Season or Lifetime by EJ for EJblogtv
an Enjoyment Journal about Everything EJ
xoxo